we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
