"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fuck appropriateness.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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