who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
