Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
