Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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