I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
