hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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