I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
