My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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