sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
