I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
