Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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