I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
