Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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