So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize