Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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