wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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