Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize