you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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