I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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