I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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