She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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