he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
