3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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