I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
