Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
