I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
