I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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