I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
