We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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