Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I believe in your delicious
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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