D3 body, D1 cock
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i drank out of a bidet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
