wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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