I just pynch a tree in the face
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I look better un-naked...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
