so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize