Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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