Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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