Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
