also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
