let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
