So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
