I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it because I queefed?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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