gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
