I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize