Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i need some magic done to my vagina
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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