I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize