Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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