Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
