I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
