The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
