Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And then he peed in my hair
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