i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
