i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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