dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
