a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize