His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
