I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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