What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
