I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
