im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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