What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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