WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
