he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
