youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
