She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize