just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
