if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize