Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My vagina just recognized that song.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
