i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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