you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
