I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
