i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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